This post was written by Joanna:
Joanna is a London SEO consultant. She is also the founder of Itchy Feet Blog. You can follow her and the site on Twitter as @ItchyFeetBlog.
View Joanna's other posts (16 in total) »
It didn’t hit me at first until I found myself with an afternoon to spare to stroll around a gorgeous park that was fairly local to the hotel where I was staying in Beijing… there were no kids shouting, no parents telling them off and very, very little graffiti or other destructive behaviour.
A Chinese family share a motorbike!
It was a gorgeous end to the day with a sunset over a lake where whole families were in pedal boats, people were singing and dancing and others were simply contemplating the world. It couldn’t have been a more stark contrast to the UK. How, you ask? What was missing from this picture, should I have been in the UK, were the occasional screaming kids, mothers raising voices at their wandering children and perhaps litter in occasional places.
I admire the emphasis that the Chinese put on family values. In that park alone there were hundreds of families with at least 3 generations within them, all enjoying the serenity that the park had to offer. Children were happy, playing little games and laughing and giggling. Adults were enjoying a stroll. Everyone had a smile. And, there weren’t teenagers with beer cans. No kids were jumping or pushing each other in the water or throwing stones or even crying for any reason at all.
You could say that it was because you had to pay a small fee to enter into the park, which may have meant that it kept the “riff raff” out and made people respect the pleasure of being able to enter more. But I truely believe that the Chinese simply know how to value each other within a family. Whole generations live together. In a hutong there can be up to 4 generations living together in tiny rooms and squalid conditions. But kids are STILL happy and smiling regardless of the situation they are brought up in. They know how to be children, they play kids’ games etc. In the UK I can’t help but feel like kids are forced to grow up much faster and deal with the stress of life much sooner. Families splitting up, alcohol being introduced at younger and younger ages, the pressure to be fashionable is enforced so soon.
But why are our cultures so different? Is it down to the massive control and filtering that the government here in China enforces, making sure that bad influences stay away? Is it because the Internet here is not that widespread at all? It’s true that in the cities that I’ve seen so far (Beijing, Xi’an and Chengdu), they seem about 20-30 decades behind us in terms of development in places. For instance, butchers are simply rooms with an open front to the street with their best meat hung raw next to the pavement for all the flies to swarm around (hmm!). Has the UK become so developed that we have more stress and competition in our day-to-day lives and less time for families? It can’t be about population density as China is winning on that front!
There are many characteristics of both cultures that are good and bad, but if I could bottle the formula for these great family values and happy children, I will do and bring it back to the UK!
Twitter Updates
In my humble opinion, strives for “freedom”, individualism and general liberalistic thinking has broken down discipline and morals in the West. This way of thinking has been propagated by the mass media, led by television and the internet and has spread like wildfire over the last few decades in the West. Censorship has been admonished or watered down in most countries and consumerism is brain washing the young making them little brats.
Without discipline and morals one can also not have respect. This caused a general breakdown of Western society at large. People are lost since they have not structures in their lives and is constantly trying to find themselves. At school kids have rights so you can’t punish them like in the good old days, people marry without a view to stay together forever and at work people steal company time and is unproductive and unreliable.
On top of this, rises in cost of living, fuelled by sometimes immoral consumerism has made people self-centred and selfish. Everyone is so focused on making a living, they don’t have time for anyone or anything else, including their children and families.
Maybe in China, censorship and government control is also sheltering people rather than just restricting them. Maybe that is what helps them to maintain discipline, morals and respect and in turn helping to keep families together?
I am not saying that freedom of speech is a bad thing and I am not a fascist either. The question is whether you use something given to you for the good or for the bad. Maybe the West crossed the line of balance by abusing our rights and freedoms? Maybe we lost control because we were given too much freedom by governments – how free are you anyway when your life is spiralling out of control?
@Johannes – I think you’ve got a really good point. Didn’t get a chance to reply to you until now but I’ve been thinking about what you said about less choice meaning more time for happiness essentially. Less uncertainty. It’s difficult (maybe impossible?) to find the balance between giving people freedom and ensuring they’re happy. But I liked your way of seeing the Chinese government sheltering the Chinese rather than restricting them or dictating.
I just sat in a park yesterday here in Chengdu and watched as families just enjoyed each other’s company. It’s getting more developed as I move southwards through China, but the same values still apply here.
@Johannes that was very well stated, my sentiments exactly! I couldn’t agree more!!!
Funny how liberal societies produce non liberated people these days (they THINK they are liberal) and people think they know it all and can’t even behave properly as a society (media brainwash). I’m having a lot of trouble with the moral high-ground, ultra-patriotic self richeous attitude in Australia, it’s RIFE! Nobody has the time to help anyone, nor the inclination, post recession it’s even worse!
@Joanna I think a balance is possible, but I also think you’d have to be living in Asia or very rural (haha, South Island NZ?) for the exact reasons @Johannes states! It’s really sad what has become of the West.
I noticed how sick the society was coming back to .au after living in Malaysia as a child in the late 80′s, that said, it’s getting much worse! Hardest part is try voicing your concerns, let alone having a conversation about it. You’re slapped down instantly for being a whiner or un-patriotic. Sad truths. Nobody will talk about politics either and their is a very distinct tone of insecurity in the people. I’m over it anyways!!
Like a Chinese lady once said so well to me in Thailand regarding Western culture, “Busy, busy, rush, rush, and for what? Nothing!”
Their was mean to be there, yes I can sprell gooda. Feel free to edit the post and delete this one!